I had the best sex of my life last night…
…with Post Malone.
Let me clarify, it was a dream. I’m pretty sure its normal to have sex dreams with people you find smoking hot, a delivery boy, Jason Momoa, or even an older salt and pepper neighbor who rocks a braided belt but you know he knows what the fuck he’s doing in the bedroom.
Until this morning, when I googled him, I knew nothing about Post Malone except he’s a young artist with an impressive tolerance for pain and face tattoos. It made me realize that although us moms have a lot going on in our minds (piano lessons, homework, karate and diapers) we still have it in us.
This picture is me- about to give birth to my son. What makes this sudden blog so crazy is that I hate social media. I don’t have facebook or instagram so why this? I’m not sure but when I woke up this morning from my completely random and dreamy escapade, I looked over at my chubby husband snoring and thought I need a platform to talk about real shit without being judged. Like when I went to a community moms group and thought mimosas would be acceptable to contribute.
peeeep squeak
The weather in New York has finally started to get warmer and with media and the Coronavirus hype, kids everywhere are feeling like caged animals. Like many other parents in my neighborhood, I took this opportunity to get out of the house. My poor, sweet little angels had been cooped up all winter with no…
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